Off to Owlcatraz

Have you heard of Orgeon?

Its a state in the good old USA. Its more or less the Are We There Yet state as its located between Washington and California.

 

Its famous for being boring.

Dull, twinned with Boring

 

Bu finally, after decades of existence, something interesting has happened in Orgeon.

 

Salem, a city in Oregon, has become a victim of Irritable Owl Syndrome.

 

An owl has been attacking people and stealing their hats/caps in one of Salem’s parks.

http://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/2015/02/03/fourth-runner-attacked-owl-bushs-pasture-park/22825511/

http://www.oregonlive.com/environment/index.ssf/2015/02/salem_barred_owl_attacks_anoth.html

 

Apart from the general owlsault and battery, the crime is all the more heinous as the perpetrator is a barred owl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barred_owl) and eponymously should never have been allowed inside the park.

 

As usual the left wing media has had a field day and the main lefty newspaper The Guardian has published an article on it. But in a blatant disregard for decency, personal issues, morality and other humanitarian concerns, it has published a picture of a random, completely blameless and innocent barred owl.

Its a racist, xenophobic, sexist act of journalism.

An innocent bird has been tarred and feathered forever while the criminal is hooting around in mirth.

 

Critics are debating on the cause of the attacks.

One school of thought claims that the bird got brainwashed due to the material created by a certain Mr. Hitchcock in one of his propaganda videos The Birds.

Another school of thought claims that the bird used to live near a theater and repeatedly saw magicians pulling rabbits out of their hats, and thus has now started a career of hat theft.

A 3rd school of thought claims that the owl is a member of a smuggling gang which trades hats for meats.

A 4th school of thought claims that the owl is the reincarnation of a certain Robin of the Hood. The owl is just protecting its hood from invaders and is distributing the hats to less fortunate owl families.

The left wing is, as usual, calling the owl a fascist while the right wing is claiming that the owl is an immigrant.

Both parties are blaming Obama.

 

However, Obama shouldn’t take it to heart; just give it a few days and everyone will come to the realisation that its all my fault.

(Sensible people are saying that the joggers probably came too close to the owl’s nest or disturbed it while it was boinking)

“Oregon police have now issued an arrest warrant for the owl which reads as follows:

Wanted for second-degree assault and theft: Grey, winged predator last seen in a tree in Salem park. Suspect is armed with multiple knife-like weapons and potentially very dangerous. If seen, approach with extreme caution…..”

 

 

And before some pedant points out to the owl in my post, its not the criminal, but just look at it, its most certainly a criminal.

That bugger is evil, its plotting for world domination, guaranteed.

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