Lieutenant Bros

They say clothes maketh a man.

They are silly asses.

You can ignore them because they also say stuff like behind every man there is a woman

a, Its sexist


b. It does not live upto scrutiny when you think of Leonardo da Vinci, Isaac Newton, Plato, Jesus Christ, Galileo, Descartes (I think therefore I am a bachelor), Voltaire, Pascal, Beethoven, Vivaldi, Brahms, Schopenhaur, Schubert, Van Gogh, Nietzsche, Tesla, Florence Nightingale and the Great Indian Chunkubaaz (technically) etc etc etc.


The point isn’t about whether you are married or not, the point is about choosing the right lieutenant, the right bro.


And just for clarification bro -> brother, as evidenced by Kane and Bibhishan. In fact blood ties are nothing in front of brohood. Your relatives will stab you in the back – and sometimes in the front – but never your bro.

Your relatives will abandon you, but never your bro.

When you fall into the gutter after a night of heavy drinking, your relatives will pretend they don’t know you; your bro will laugh themself silly and throw chimichangas at you.

You want examples?

I will give you examples.

Think of the Ramayana.

By every possible and probably impartial account Ravana was a greater warrior and king than Rama (Meghnad was 342.7 times better than Laxmana as well)

But Rama won.


Because of the lieutenants of course

Ravana had Kumbhakarna – a narcoleptic glutton. Someone who probably looked like this



Who was Rama’s lieutenant?

Hanuman, that’s who – the 2nd greatest bro lieutenant in the history of bro lieutenants.

You want Mahabharata?

Duryadhana’s bros were Duhshasana and Karna, whereas the Pandavas’ bro was Krishna.

We know who won.


Neither Sherlock Holmes nor Feluda could have survived without their lieutenants.

Asterix definitely wouldn’t have survived without Obelix – the supremest bro amongst all bros of human history.

Batman couldn’t have done it without the Robins, Iron Man without Jarvis, Frodo Baggins without Samwise, Harry Potter without Ron Weasley, Wolverine without his beer.



And the same rules apply when we look at our politicians.

You don’t have to look farther than our current prime minister to look at the theory of bro lieutenants. Mr. Modi and Mr. Shah have conquered them all * via the power of brohood.

Mr. Vajpayee ruled all because he had the perfect bro lieutenant in Mr. Advani. Mr. Advani failed because he did not have a bro.

Mr. Lalu ruled Bihar with an iron fist as long as he was with his bro Mr. Nitish Kumar, their separation resulted in Mr. Lalu’s downfall. Mr. Nitish Kumar is now wobbling because he parted ways with his bro Mr. Majhi.

We see the same with the most power hungry corrupt politician in the history of Indian politics – and that says a lot – Mr. Mufflerman. He had universal popularity (well among the uneducated and the “seculars”) when he was along his bros Mr. Bhushan and Mr. Yadav.


Now that the brohood is dead, Mr. Kejriwal is busy bankrupting power supply companies, organising farmer suicides and censoring the media.

Hell, Mrs. Sonia Gandhi ruled India for 10 whole years through her bro Dr. Singh. She retired him and tried to get in her son – Mr. Pappu, and we have seen what happened.


But surely the greatest story of brodom in Indian politics comes from Tamil Nadu.

There we see a bro lieutenant who is so dedicated to his bro boss that he perform selfless acts after selfless acts – something unique in Indian politics.

Miss. Amma has just proved to the country once again why she is the smartest of the lot.

There are very few politicians in the world who will give up his or her own seat to a lieutenant without worrying about getting it back.

In fact, only Mr. Putin comes to mind. And he did it because he had a bro lieutenant in Mr. Medvedev.

691118 Poetin2 Celebrities-Memes-Are-Illegal-in-Russia-478350-2 beb1feec7ab9ce7298dd6b81dde47be54ad83f7b03a5bd6b3445d7f1e94a1507

I am talking of course of Mr. Paneer – a 2 time Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu.

Miss Amma could have picked anybody, and she would probably have still been in jail. Instead she picked Mr. Paneer, and so is now going to become the Chief Minister for the umpteenth time. And she is now more powerful then ever.

All hail Mr. Paneer, the supreme bro of Tamil Nadu.


* Well, one has resisted them. The Chief Minister of West Bengal has harnessed the power of maa, maati and Bangladesh to resist them all. But that’s a special situation.

1. Even her own ministers openly admit that in that party, she has the only post, all the others are lampposts.

2. Its just the playing out of the old proverb about unstoppable force meeting immovable object.


2 thoughts on “Lieutenant Bros

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.