Or Chouhan vs the Commies if you will
The scene – in true filmy fashion – is a film institute – The Film and Television Institute of India.
Unfortunately, over the last couple of decades, its become a den of Communism, corruption and cacophony.
The students there have become more interested in dharnas than on development.
But that happens wherever the scum of Communism enters, nothing new.
In a bid to stem the stench of putrefaction that emanates from anything touched by Communists, our current government tried to put a non-Communist in charge.
So far so good.
The problem arose with the choice of candidate.
In a brain fart moment they chose someone who is – in the grand scheme of things – a nobody.
Mr. Gajendra Chauhan, or Yudhisthir of Mahabharata, a man with more or less no exposure to the theories of films or to world cinema or to the artsy fartsy cinema world.
Naturally, consternation ahoy.
Nobody in their right mind thinks that he is the right candidate for the post.
But here’s the jabberwocky.
What exactly is the post and what does the job entail?
The post is that of the Chairman. The responsibilities – the grand total of fuck all and diddly squat. From the information available, its purely an ornamental position – the chairman does not decide the syllabus or the faculty.
Mr. Chauhan is adamant that its an administrative position and as such there is nothing that disqualifies from holding the position.
The Communist scum students of course are clamouring that its all part of saffronising of education.
These fuckwit hypocrite scum have no problems if education turns red, its saffron they have a problem with. Thus, they would have gone on strike no matter who the government had appointed – apart from a fellow Commie scum of course.
So their views don’t matter – however the views of the eminent people from the film and television industry does.
Of course if the students keep on striking and demanding that only a Communist artsy fartsy type would be acceptable to them, then the government has no other option than to ban these students. Or give them a declaration to sign that they will spend the rest of their lives doing only artsy fartsy stuff and will never sing up for any commercial film or television projects.
Something tells me that the students will most definitively not agree to it – after all Communist scum like nothing better than to destroy other people’s money. These students want all the subsidies and benefits of a government institution with none of the responsibilities. And the moment they pass out, they will sign on for the Chennai Expresses of the world.
So there is really 2 things that can be done at this point.
Step 1- rusticate all the Communist scum students and ban them from all government institutions
Step 2 – remove Mr. Chauhan and get someone even halfway qualified as the Chairman.
Ideally it should be a politically neutral person, but even if it has to be someone from politics, get someone like Anupam Kher or Paresh Rawal or Satrughan Sinha or Hema Malini or any other top level person.
if all these people are busy, then Step 3 – put me in charge
Since its mainly a ceremonial position anyway, the person’s administrative qualities or educational qualifications should not matter anyway. As long as the person is eminent and respected in his field, he or she should do fine.
And that person’s first order of business should be to declare that if you are studying at astonishingly subsidized rates at a government institution, then study to the best of your abilities and become a good fimmaker/cinematographer/editor or whatever and stop following anti national Communist practices and philosophy.
Back in my university, while I was studying linguistics, some others were studying literature and some others English teaching, there was a group of lazy bums who were doing media studies.
They were easily the laziest buggers in campus, all they did for two years was smoke ganja, drink alcohol and make stupid ass unrealistic statements.
And out of that group how many have become even halfway decent and respected people in the media world –
So I know the perfect way of inspiring them into being better students and professionals.
My boot up their arses at least once everyday, twice on Sundays.
Give me just 5 years – I will change the FTII forever and make it a leading name in the world.