This is Sparta

What happens when an unstoppable force moves an immovable object?

Well, we just found out.


The Spartans were the original immovable objects. Who doesn’t remember brave Leonidas and his 300 (while conveniently forgetting the thousands of other Greeks and slaves who perished along with Leonidas).

The Persians tried and tried and tried but just could not move them.

The Athenians tried and tried and tried but they failed too.

In fact it was only in 371 BC that the Spartans finally lost – to Thebes (they were subsequently destroyed by Alexander)

But though the defeat to Thebes cost them influence power and prestige, Sparta itself remained unconquered.

Well, at least till those pesky Romans showed up.

They destroyed all Greek armies and conquered the entire nation – and ended Sparta.


There’s no shame in losing to the Romans, they conquered them all after all.

Well, conquered them all apart from the Germans (Rhine was the border between the two), the Scots (Hadrian had to build a wall to keep them out) and a tiny little village in Gaul surrounded by Roman camps.


But, never mind the Romans, for almost 2 centuries the Spartans were the immovable objects.


And they always hated the Asians.


Throughout the centuries under the Romans, then the Ottomans and then the Athenians, the Spartans seethed and stewed in their anger.

They vowed retribution and calamity upon the Asians.


And then the Communists came and conquered Greece – and promptly bankrupted everybody.


The Spartans said enough is enough and revolted people.

They vowed revenge against the Communists and the Asians with the battle-cry “You may take our lives, our money, our women, our cattle and our land, but you will never take our olive oil

They Googled and found out that the most powerful Communist nation on the planet also happens to be Asian.


And thus they decided to invade Beijing.


Unfortunately, the Communist Chinese are a different kettle of fish altogether.

They don’t believe in evil capitalist fascist corrupt practices like freedom of speech, humour, fun, laughter etc.

They only believe in The Party, The Glory of the Party and Nothing But the Party, so Help them Mao.

There was always going to be only one winner in this war.




When last heard, the spirit of Leonidas was apparently seen wandering around the Great Wall saying



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