Suplex City Bitch

Summerslam 2015 came and went. A 4 hour extravaganza which promised so much but delivered not so much.

Unfortunately, despite being one of the 2 principal pay per views of WWE, it did not develop or complete many storylines.

Some parts were good, some sucked, Rollins elevated everybody, Kevin Owens solidified his reputation as the hardest worker in the business, John Stewart stole the show and Suplex City got a new resident.

Here’s what happened

 

Mrs. Foley’s Baby Boy

The show opened with the host John Stewart who brought out the icon, the hardcore legend, the god among men Mick Foley

It was a small comedy segment and worked well as a warm up, especially the catchphrases of Foley.

Rating – 6/10

 

Randy Orton vs Sheamus

Orton is an all time great, Sheamus is a solid performer.

So the match was, as expected, solid. But the problem here is that there is no proper story, as a result fo which we the audience don’t invest our feelings into it.

Moreover, these two guys have fought each other so many times that another win or loss has ceased to mean anything.

Its all become a bit meh.

Sheamus needs another rivalry while Orton needs to turn heel.

Rating 4/10

 

Tag Team Championship Match 

The match had all the fun of a fatal 4-way. But it was the pre-match entrance of the New Day – where they sang R&B – and the wonderfully weird post match celebrations that made the whole segment immensely fun.

Xavier Woods is fast becoming integral to the show – which is quite a turnaround as he was totally dispensable just a few months ago – even without being a part of the actual match per se. I think he has found his calling as  valet/manager/third wheel/cheerleader kind of figure.

Rating – 7/10

 

Dolph Ziggler with Lana vs Rusev with Summer Rae

Wrestlemania and Summerslam are supposed to start or end feuds – they are the big daddies of pay per views.

Instead what we got here was just another episode in the middle.

The match was solid but the ending was stupid – I understand the need for it, but still stupid, especially in the context of Summerslam.

Rating – 5/10

 

Paul Heyman and John Stewart

Its Paul Heyman and John Stewart

Rating – 10/10

 

Intercontinental Championship

Miz vs Ryback vs Big Show

The match was a bit too meh to be honest. You know it sucked when the best feeling about the match is that it was too short.

Rating – 3/10

 

Wyatt and Luke Harper vs Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns

Great match as always when these guys are involved. Luke Harper is an under appreciated gem of a wrestler. My only concern with this match is that it resolved nothing.

Someone needs to train Reigns not to look at the titantron to see if the camera is on him and adjust his facial expressions accordingly. Ambrose or Wyatt never does that. That’s an extremely amateur thing to do. All the greats naturally assume that the camera will be on them the entire time and so play their part throughout the time they are in front of the crowd.

Rating – 7.5/10

 

Divas Match

Whoever booked or planned this needs to be flogged. With phenomenal talent like Sasha Banks, Paige, Charlotte, Naomi, Becky Lynch and good workers like Nikki Bella and Alicia Fox around, it took some epic moron to script this match. The ladies tried their best given the circumstances.

Rating – 3/10

 

Stephen Amell and Neville vs Stardust and Cosmic King

Poor Wade Barrett. He has the physique, the charisma, the talent, the mic skills – in fact he has it all to be a great top superstar but for whatever reasons WWE creative keeps shitting all over him.

That being said, mucho kudos to Stephen Amell for his willingness to whole heartedly go into the match.

Neville is a charisma vacuum though. You know you are bad when even Reigns cuts a better promo than you. The man can’t cut a promo to save his life. Cody Rhodes is carrying on the full responsibility of this feud, but there aren’t many who can do that. Neville needs acting lessons asap, else his career will go down the Lashley route.

Rating – 6.5/10

 

Kevin Owens vs Cesaro 

Two of the three best in the ring performers in the industry today, so there can only be one result –

A fantastic technical match

Kevin Owen’s entrance walk is as straight edge as they come, and it just complements his persona and character so much. This man is already a superstar well on his way to be a mega star. The fans love him and his fraternity respects him- the Summerslam performance came less than 24 hours after the NXT Ladder match against Finn Balor.

Its a pity that Cesaro can’t cut a good promo, because when it comes to technical abilities, he is perhaps the 2nd best in the industry today.

Rating – 8/10

 

Champion vs Champion

The best in the world today vs the black hole of the industry

Seth Rollins carried that match (understandable due to Cena’s broken nose). Seth Rollins is undoubtedly the best in the business today. I can’t remember the last time I saw a bad match involving Rollins. The man can do anything. We all know that and expect great matches from him as per for the course.

And every time somehow he manages to exceed our expectations.

Rating – 9/10

 

Brock Lesnar vs Undertaker

There is a new citizen of Suplex City.

And its the phenom, the deadman, the Undertaker.

In a rematch of Wrestlemania 2014, these two supreme athletes took themselves to the limit.

But here’s the thing.

Brock Lesnar is no mere athlete.

He is the Beast, a freak of nature, the perfect specimen.

The drama was scripted sure, but the athletes still have to deliver the performance on the stage. And nobody outperforms the Beast.

Furthermore, Lesnar sitting up just before the trademark Untertaker sit up and laughing at the face of the deadman is easily one of the top three moments of the year (along with DX vs NWO in Wrestlemania and the debut match of Kevin Owens).

Unfortunately, the Undetaker is an old man and after the match he collapsed. I hope he is ok.

Because let’s face it, he broke the 11th commandment –

Thou Shalt Not Intentionally Provoke the Beast

And as a result, he became a resident of Suplex City

Rating – 9.5/10

 

So there you have it.

A decent show, a good show.

But for me it was a wasted potential.

The creative teem who scripted this needs to go to Suplex City.

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