First they tried to capture the world via samurais
Genghis Khan put a stop to that
Then they tried to capture the world via harakiri pilots
That just pissed off the Muricans (Murica fuck yeah)
Then they tried to capture the world via Godzilla
That did not work
Then they tried to capture the world via robots
That’s still a work in progress
Then they tried to capture the world via anime and manga and Pokemon and those weird characters with big eyes
That captured the hearts of the young
Then they tried to capture the world via some freaky as shit pornography
Some of it is too freaky a shit
Basically, despite trying for so many years, the Japanese were not successful at capturing the world
Yesterday they did something that made them immortal and etched their memory in the world’s heart.
Yesterday they somehow defeated South Africa in the Rugby World Cup.
The full-back Ayumu Goromaru scored 24 of those points.
That’s South Africa, 2 time World Cup winner (in 1995 and 2007) and Japan, who had won just one match in the World Cup before this (in 1991).
Their record before this – Played 24, Won 1, Drawn 1, Lost 22
To put it in terms that Indians would understand (this being rugby and all), imagine Japan defeating South Africa in the Cricket World Cup
Or of you like football, then imagine India beating Argentina to get a sense of the enormity of the upset.
This Japanese victory is without a shadow of a doubt the greatest upset in rugby history. Its the ultimate underdog victory.
Hell, its one of the greatest upsets in any sports anywhere – on par, if not greater, than USA beating England in 1950 or West Germany beating Hungary in 1954 or Cameroon beating Argentina in 1990.
And what pleased the heart of every neutral was the manner in which the Japanese did it.
They had multiple chances to take a penalty and try for a draw. But they refused them all and instead went for a try and a win.
I admit that I called them fucking idiots multiple times when they refused the penalties and instead went for the tries.
But hey, no risk, no gain. And boy did Japan gain.
They had a clear plan of first going to the right and then making a lightning switch to the left to catch the South Africans out, and they executed that plan brilliantly.
Those last 15 minutes of rugby was some of the most exhilarating sports that I have had the pleasure of witnessing.
Every time the South African man mountains smashed them in the scrum, the Japs picked themselves up and went lower in the scrum for a greater grip and slowly they got the upper hand. In those last 10 15 minutes, their strategy worked and they managed to push the South Africans back in every scrum.
And that Japanese try in literally the last minute of extra time was an act that made the whole watching world jump up and down on their feet with.
This is what sports is all about.
This is what romance is all about.
And to think that the Japanese playmaker is a man who is 5 ft 5 inches tall and weights 70 kilos – that’s Sunil Chetri, Ajinka Rahane territory folks.
Bravo Japan, bravo
The whole world is bowing to you today.
Just another win against Scotland or Samoa and they will be in the quarters.
Come on Japan.
Its just a pity that they have possibly the least manly nickname in the world of sports.
The Japanese are called the Brave Blossoms