O Bomber Der Bomber

After thousands of years of awe and wonder and wishing, man finally learnt how to fly.

And because man is man, within a few short years of finally learning how to fly, man developed ways and means of killing other people through the wonders of flight.

And so came the bombers, hundreds and thousands of them

And they flattened cities, killed millions and because ‘Murica Fuck Yeah!, have now started bombing hospitals.

But amongst all these bombers, there is only one who does not kill, one who does not destroy, one who makes people happy and inspires others.

The greatest bomber of them all remain the one, the only der Bomber himself – Gerd Muller.

Never mind those two freaks Messi and Cronaldo, Gerd Muller remains the most lethal striker the world of football has ever known.

68 goals in 62 appearances for the German national team

66 goals in 74 European club games for Bayern Munich

365 goals in 427 Bundesliga games for Bayern Munich

Müller is now eleventh on the list of all time international goalscorers despite playing fewer matches than every other player in the top 25

Hell, remember Messi’s greatest year? Muller had it better.


It was him, along with the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Sepp Maier, Paul Breitner, Wolfgang Overath, Jupp Heynckes, Berti Vogts, Ulli Hoeness, Hans-Georg Schwarzenbeck etc who made the German national team one of the greatest in the world and Beyarn Munich one of the greatest clubs in the world.

But the man’s legacy is not only that of a great player.

He suffered from alcoholism, went into rehab, came out clean and became a coach of the Bayern Munich youth team.

And as the youth coach, he coached and inspired Philip Lahm, Bastian Schweinsteiger and the Interpreter of Space Thomas Muller.


After all that, you would think that he deserves a glorious final few years, a happy retirement.

But mother nature gave him Alzheimer’s instead.

Its one of the suckiest diseases there is, there is no cure.

Just a couple of months it claimed another favorite of mine – the great Sir Terry Pratchett, creator of the Discworld. The man who taught me that “personal isn’t the same as important” and “words in the heart cannot be taken”.

All our thoughts are with Gerd Muller and his family.

May they receive some peace.


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