The Return of the Native

This is truly a season of wapsis (returns)

First we had VHP’s ghar wapsi

According to the presstitutes and our Communist friends, it was the greatest crime since Holocaust. Missionaries can convert you to Christianity, mullahs can convert you to Islam, lamas can convert you to Buddhism, rabbis can convert you to Judaism, Sikh priests can convert you to Sikhism

And all that is fine as long as long as you are choosing to convert and not being forced to convert.

Our legal system guarantees freedom of religion.

Well, as long as you don’t want to convert to Hinduism of course.

For some reason, that is a criminal offense of the most heinous manner – as per the presstitutes and our Commie friends of course.


Then we had the “neutral” professional liberals and their award wapsi.

According to them, genocide of Sikhs (Congress govt), genocide of Kashmiri pandits (Congress govt), genocide of Muslims in Bihar (Congress govt), fatwa against Salman Rushide (Congress govt), violence against Taslima Nasreen (Congress govt), fatwa against AR Rahman (Congress govt), the hand chopping of that Mallu professor (CPIM govt) were all signs of progresside liberal tolerance.

Oh so much tolerance,


Then there was the return of the magic

His Highness, the Lord Sir SriSri Ravindra Jadeja the Almighty Great weaved his brand of magic to leave the South African batsmen flabbergasted and gasping for breath.

8 wickers plus 30 odd extremely valuable runs means he deserved that Man of the Match award.

Now that’s how a return to the team is supposed to be like.

[I want the 11 for the next match to be Rahul, Vijay, Pujara, Kohli, Rahane, Rohit, Wriddhi, His Highness, Ashwin, Mishra (if he manages to stay out of jail, else Bhajji) any one of the pacers (they are all of fuck all use in our Indian spinning tracks, so pick whoever is the best fielder of the lot)….Dhawan should not be anywhere near the squad, he has to go back and play Ranjis for the next 6 months….and we need the extra batsman coz lets face it, despite the result, our batting flopped…and if Steyn, Morkel, Duminy comes back in the next match, going with only 5 batsmen and 1 Wriddhi would be insanely risky]


And that brings us to the THE RETURN

There used to be a saying

Jab Tak Khet Mein Rahega Alu (as long as fields have potatoes)
Tab Tak Bihar Mein Rahega Laloo (there will be Laloo in Bihar)


Laloo is back


Today he got the reigns of the state back in his hands – it does not matter who sits on the CM’s chair – the power is with Laloo.

There used to be a saying – you reap what you sow.

Biharis, you have chosen

You have chosen to be raped

You have chosen to be killed

You have chosen to live in extreme poverty

You have chosen to remain as servants to the rest of India

You have chosen to remain as the most despised people in India.

You had a choice.

You could have chosen for Modi and his brand of development or you could have chosen for Nitish and his brand of development.

No matter what their policies or ideals, both stand for development and improvement.

Modi is dragging India to hitherto unknown heights of development, prosperity and honour

Nitish Kumar has been the best ruler Bihar has had since Samudra Gupta around 2000 years ago.

Choosing either would have been fine, and a sign that yes you are tired of being the sick state of India, you are tired of being sneered at, you are tired of having no chance to survive at home, you are tired of leaving your state just to have food.

Choosing either would have been a sign that you want to develop, you want to improve, you hope to improve, you dream to improve.

Choosing either would have been a positive.

But, you chose Laloo.

The whole of India just lost respect for you.

You deserve who you choose.

So enjoy the filth, enjoy the rape, enjoy the dark.



Return of the Native is one of the top 10 most weirdly depressing/depressingly weird books of all time.

I get Shakespeare’s tragedies (quite like McBeth, Lear, Iago and the story of old Julius)

I get the Russian miserythons (its so cold, it freezes your balls off, you die)

I get Synge’s Riders to the Sea (you don’t know what you are doing, why you are doing)

I get Dickens and Dumas

Hell, I even get Ulysses by James Joyce (story of a man who knows his wife is fucking around)

I just don’t get Thomas Hardy in general and Return of the Native is particular. Fuck knows how I managed to graduate with Honors in English literature considering that I had to study the fuck out of this novel.

I still have no fucking clue what happens, how it happens and why it happens.

For fuck’s sake!!!!


4 thoughts on “The Return of the Native

  1. I didn’t understand part of your post…how could the people of Bihar have chosen Laloo over Nitish when their parties contested together in an alliance? You never know, maybe some of them did vote for Nitish Kumar’s development credentials (and he’s going to be the CM now in all probability), it’s just that Laloo was part of that “Mahagathbandhan” too. I doubt Laloo (or rather his party) would have won if they’d been contesting alone.


    1. Laloo seats contested 101, seats won 80…vote share 18.4%; Nitish seats contested 101, seats won 71, vote share 16.8%….I like and respect Nitish’s achievements but despite being Bihar’s best ruler in the last 1000 years, he finished 3rd in the elections …..the whole reason Nitish won the first time was due to Biharis being fed up with Laloo and his misrule…so how come this 180 degree shift this time?? the core voters won’t cross vote…for example I will never ever vote Commie, i would rather cut off my own hands than vote Commie….similarly, none of my leftist friends will ever vote BJP, they would rather leave India than vote BJP… Bihar, we have the Laloo core voters, the Nitish core voters and the BJP core evidenced from past elections..and then there are the neutrals….the core voters voted as they always had, but Laloo finished first….had the neutrals not voted for Laloo, he could not have finished first…QED the neutrals want Laloo….let’s face it, being the majority partner, Laloo will call all the shots now, irrespective of who is the nominal CM


      1. Thanks for the detailed reply, didn’t have all these figures. Still, the optimist (or naive idiot) in me would like to believe that: (a) the neutrals in the constituencies Laloo contested voted for him knowing he had a good ally in Nitish Kumar (and they couldn’t vote for Nitish directly because he wasn’t contesting there), and similarly (b) Nitish suffered a bit in the constituencies he contested because Laloo’s presence in his alliance eroded his standing with the neutrals there.

        Yes, stretching it a bit, I know 🙂


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