The zombies are coming, the zombies are coming.
The zombie apocalypse is nigh people. Intelligent people everywhere, save thyself.
Ebay has started selling brains.
Being an equal opportunity seller, they have decided to tap into the huge undead community.
Let’s face it, being undead, these guys are part of the huge silent majority.
And in these troubling intolerant times, they need their retail therapy too.
Ebay is just serving that demand by selling brains
As we all know, brains are a primary source of nutrition for the zombie community.
Beating heart zombies must feed for energy. These zombies always feel bad, but ironically are the subset of zombies that are the most advantaged. It is not a good feeling to be a beating heart zombie. Brains and intestines have high concentrations of serotonin. Serotonin is sometimes called “the happiness hormone” (technically it is not a hormone; more like a drug). So essentially a high functioning zombie is trying to self-medicate. Feeding on your brains or intestines makes it feel better. That is why a higher functioning zombie may utter, “I want to eat your brain.” As higher functions are lost, these zombies just want to feed so are more likely to take a chunk from your arm or legs, whatever is easier to feed on.
When there is a demand, there is a supply. That’s how the economy works.
But in another instance of racial discrimination and growing intolerance, the United States government has cracked down on the supplier.
David Charles, of Indianapolis, pleaded guilty to six charges including receiving stolen property and burglary in a Marion county court. Magistrate Amy Barbar sentenced him to one year of home detention and two years of probation, county prosecutor spokesman Anthony Deer said. Charles on multiple occasions broke into the Indiana Medical History Museum to steal jars of brains and other human tissue, according to the Marion county prosecutor’s office. Charles was arrested in December 2013 after a San Diego man who bought six jars of brain material for $600 on eBay alerted police, according to court documents. Many of the items Charles sold were recovered when the San Diego man matched the items he bought to those stolen from the museum based on research he did online, according to court documents.
The leading “secular” political commentators of our times Burkha Nutt, Sagarika Mousse and Beer Sanghvi have all termed this action as more evidence of the growing intolerance that has affected the world ever since Mr. Modi has come to power. They claim that this latest US government crackdown has come soon after Mr. Modi’s visit to the USA.
Coincidence? They think not.
Mr. Khujliwal has allegedly said that he will organize a dharna protesting this draconian action.
Mr. Khan has allegedly invited all undead people and brain suppliers to come to Uttar Pradesh saying that the SP government believes in the individuals’ right to eat whatever as guaranteed in the constitution.
Surprisingly, Mr. Lalu has avoided the whole controversy, saying that he is vegetarian
Bong liberal intellectuals, East Bengalis, those who watched Prem Ratan Dhan Payo, Arsenal fans (In Wenger they Trust) etc of course have nothing to fear.
Keep calm and carry on