The Force Awakened

We finally have it people.

The great female icon of our times.

The 80s had Ellen Ripley, the 90s had Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I can’t remember anyone from the noughties – Black Widow, Raven, Storm, Jean Grey, Kitty Pride, Selina Kyle et all do not count as they have been around for decades.

So, after almost two decades we have a female character developed by the studio who is worthy of being a global icon.

And its a bonus that the character happens to belong to one of the most underrated and reviled professions of them all – scavenging.

I am talking of course of Rey the Jedi

I finally watched the latest Star War movies people.

And I loved it.

Which is rare, since I did not like Avengers Age of Ultron (it made no sense, plus the fun elements from the first movie was missing plus it was statistically proved that the X-Men Quicksilver was 83.7 times better than the Avengers Quicksilver), I did not like Terminator Genisys (god awful male actor [not Arnold, the other guy]), I was meh about Jurassic World (cliched female lead plus no suspense plus the best actors were the raptors) and I did not like Spectre (criminal misuse of Batista plus the complete ‘Cena Wins LOL’ nature of Bond’s escape from Spectre headquarters).

On the flip side I did like MI Rogue Nation (actually liked a Tom Cruise movie for a change), Minions, Kingsman, Mr. Holmes and Ant-Man.

So you can see that good stories, good script, fresh action and absence of cliches are what attracts me.

And Force Awakens ticked all those boxes.

The original trilogy had the greatest bros in history – Han and Chewie of course –  plus an awesome villain in Darth Vader plus Yoda plus the droids plus Jubba the Hutt plus angsty emo young man and loads of humor.

The crap trilogy had miles of boredom, Liam Neeson and his particular set of skills, the abomination that is Jar Jar Binks and angsty emo young man.

Now there is Force Awakens.

It has nice action, Han and Chewie, the aforementioned Rey, loads of humor and angsty emo young man.

The more things change the more they remain the same.

If you really think about it the whole Star Wars universe is about 3 generations of the same family fucking things up. Its like a glorified sas-bahu drama churned out in India, only with less make up.

But that being said, there are some refreshing things about this new film.

  1. For starters, we have, for the first time, an insight into that most maligned and useless of species – the Stormtrooper.

[Trekkies might claim that the redshirts from the Star Trek franchise are the most useless, the Uruk Hais are another option, so are the Chitauri from the Marvel universe].

2. We have a film where the protagonists are a kickass woman and a black dude. Compare that to the two earlier trilogies where the protagonists – Luke and Anakin – were blonde white boys (nothing wrong in being blond and white, just sometimes its refreshing to see other people as heroes too).

3. The story – a couple of plot holes notwithstanding – is quite good.

4. There’s no Jar Jar Binks

5. The ending was one of those edge of the seat ‘will he/wont he’ stuff that’s gonna nicely lead into the second movie.

6. Great cinematography and action sequences

7. Smeagol as the Supreme Leader and main villain

8. A really good mystery regarding the identity/backstory of Rey.

9. Han and Chewie

10. BB8. Everyone needs a BB8 in their lives. Its a football who talks with you, what’s not to like. Easily the best droid since Wall-E. I have been bugging the Gudduda to buy me a BB8. However, by the time he becomes an adult and gets a job it will be 2030. And latest reports suggest that I will be dead by 2036-7. So the period of BB8 will be too little too late.

New-Walkable-ABS-metal-Rolling-BB8-BB-8-Star-Wars-The-Force-Awakens-BB8-BB-8

 

So, good people, my birthday is coming up. Wanna buy me a BB8?

Por favor?

 

However, its not all sweetness and light. I have issues with the movie, but the pros far far far outweigh the cons.

  1. No Jabba the Hutt. I don’t care if he is dead, every story, every film needs Jabba the Hutt.
  2. Kylo Ren is pathetic. He is an upgraded Edward Cullen, and that’s literally the worst insult I can think of. His character is that of a spoiled teenage brat. He is basically Gudduda (who rebelled against his parents and called them fascists because they stopped him from wearing lipstick) with some dark force thrown in.
  3. Too little Chewbacca, the world needs more Chewbacca.
  4. The plot holes. For one the fact that Han and Chewie could not trace the Millenium Falcon for years/decades while it lay abandoned in Jakka, butthe moment its airborne, they could find it. Also, how in hell did they manage to lose the goddamn Millenium Falcon in the first place?
  5. Why did R2D2 come alive?
  6. The whole Max von Sydow story arc

 

But hey, nobody is perfect (except Deadpool CVKQTAoUkAAGbhs Deadpool_poster) and as I said the pros far outweigh the con.

The movie is going around breaking all kinds of box office records. Its a massive massive hit.

If there is just one movie this year that you are going to see, go see Deadpool of course.

But if there are two, then see this one – you won’t be disappointed.

 

P.S. That BB8 is expensive, please don’t buy that for my birthday. If you have doubloons to spare, just invite me over to your place and show me around.

Even if you don’t, just keep talking to me, that’s all the birthday gift I need.

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