Of Mice and Meds

Recently, I had a visitor.

I was lying on my bed squirming with pain and cogitating about mixing Absinthe with Jagermeister when my ponderations were disturbed by a chirruping sound.

I looked up from my screen (this was 1.20 in the afternoon) but could not see anything.

I thought I was hearing sounds.

So, got back to the computer screen.

But the sound came again. When it came a twice more, I realized that it could not be the voices in my head who are making the sound. The voices in my head are shy and lazy and there’s no way they are going to make so much noise.

So I put down my laptop, opened my almirah, put on my detection cap and started investigation.

And found a mouse scurrying around eating my chips.

I didn’t mind Mickey eating my potato chips but my potato chips were lying just beside the computer chips and nobody gets to touch those (and my beard).

I had to get rid of Mickey.

Without killing him of course.

I do not like killing animals (except mosquitoes and Commies) just for the heck of it.

Therefore, I got some humane rat-catcher.

Its basically a sticky pad; the idea being that the mouse will get stuck on it.

I tasted its efficacy on the Gudduda and after getting satisfactory results on that front, unleashed it on Mickey.

Hickory Dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The clock struck four,
He hit the floor,
Hickory Dickory dock.

Great Success.

But as Mr. Steinbeck said, where there are mice, there will be meds.

I went to my head doctor.

He poked and prodded all over my mind.

And prescribed medication.

So here’s my day now.

  • Wake up, do potty, brush teeth
  • Have stomach medicine – 1 tablet
  • Have breakfast
  • Take head medicine – 3 tablets
  • Have coffee
  • Have liver medicine – 1 tablet
  • Have lunch
  • Have heart medicine – 1 tablet
  • Have liver medicine – 2 tablets
  • Have coffee
  • Have evening tiffin
  • Have head medicine – 3 tablets
  • Have dinner
  • Have liver medicine – 3 tablets
  • Have cholesterol medicine – 1 tablet

That’s 15 tablets.

All those medicines and none of them pain killers!!!!

The last time my spine went on a strike and my back pain flared up, this happened

https://fatunclecheapo.wordpress.com/2015/04/28/i-am-fucked-and-not-in-the-good-way/

 

So if my back goes into pain mode, the number of tablets that I will have to take per day is two dozen.

Two dozen pills a day!!

The mind boggles!!!!

 

Anyway, lets hope it does not come to that.

As a result of the 15 am taking now, my tummy is hurting, my hands are spasming, I feel dizzy and pukish and am seeing 3.5 of everything (I don’t mind the 3, its the .5 that I have issue with).

But, on the positive side, I don’t feel like talking to people anymore.

And if I can’t talk to people, then people can’t shout at me and abuse me.

Great success!!!!

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