We live in degenerate times in a world that is full of sadness and misery and corruption.
It is at times like this, that the world needs a hero.
A Canadian Pacific Railway train was rolling through Elko, just west of the Rocky Mountains, when its engineer spotted a man lying on the tracks. The engineer blew the train’s whistle and slammed on the brakes, but couldn’t stop the train fast enough.
26 bogies of the train had rolled over the man by the time it stopped.
Fearing the worst, the engineer and his cohorts got down to drag the unfortunate carcass.
They found the man happily sleeping with nary a scratch.
Alcohol, fuck yeah
Here’s an animated retelling of the epic.
Royal Canadian Mounted Police Sgt. Dave Dubnyk said the engineer was certain the train had killed the man.
“CP rail personnel grabbed this gentleman and seemed to rouse him out of his state of intoxicated unconsciousness. And he got up, grabbed his beer, and was on his way,” said Dubnyk.
The hero wandered to a nearby campground and was traced there by police dogs. The RCMP arrested him for public intoxication and put him in detachment holding cells for the night to sober up.
So there you have it people, alcohol gave this man super powers.
Alcohol allowed him to transcend the realms of impossible into unimpossible.
He is the hero we need.
He is the hero we deserve.
He is the Drunk Knight