Snake Goddess

Here’s a story from Bengali mythology.

There was this very famous and rich trader called Chand Sadagar (Chand the Merchant).

He was a die hard fan of Lord Shiva (he had the jerseys, the flags, the banners, the scarves etc… the whole shabang so to speak). ecb928c79789ebce7759306b8790001a

He had declared that he will worship only Shiva and no other God.

Now this pissed off Manasa, the goddess of snakes. manasa-popular

In a manner similar to our modern elections, she needed a specific number of votes (worshipers) to get into heaven. Chand’s refusal thus hampered her ambition.

She threatened the trader with dire consequences (snake bites) if he didn’t worship her.

Chand said: 14322264_1080346782055770_7574631223735425059_n

Manasa was enraged but couldn’t do anything directly as the dude was a worshiper of Lord Shiva – and if there is one thing that everyone – god, demon or mortals – know, its that you don’t make Shiva angry. Just imagine Hulk on a galactic level.

Thus, she decided to go into a Russian Standoff and Mexican Roulette with Chand.

Now, Chand had 7 sons.

One by one, Manasa got her pet snakes to kill 6 of them. images (13)

Still, Chand remained resolute.

The 7th son was called Lokhinder. For all intents and purposes he was a complete waste of time and space (pretty much like Arsenal in Europe). Anyway, to ensure that he lived, Chand started searching for the perfect wife for him. After consulting the oracles and soothsayers, he found out that there is a girl who was destined never to be a widow. Her name Behula – daughter of Sayven of Ujaninagar.

So, the marriage got fixed. The day of the wedding arrived.

Chand was concerned and so he made mucho preparations with lots of guards. He outsourced the construction of an impenetrable building to Vishwakarma – the Indian Hephaestus.

The wedding night arrived, the newly weds started badoinkadoingking, and then fell asleep tired. And while they were sleeping, a snake came to the wedding room through a hole in the wall and bit the groom to death.

Howls of anguish  9a62e67fd25131e5ab3d6b13f4c3fc057895d73af80a6e586c99a4efc3dcda3d could be heard for miles around.

Behula was so frustrated that she announced that she is going to appeal to the people upstairs.

People were initially baffled as they were simple folk and there were only one story houses back then.

But when realization dawned, they built a raft and put the groom’s body in it, Behula then boarded and set sail for heaven. She started meditating and praying. her prayers were so successful that Indra brought them to heaven.

Once she reached the place, she started protesting to the gods about the rights of man, or in this case woman.

She was so infuriated that apparently she started dancing (don’t ask why, weird girl that) ….the gods being complete and utter luj characters, got infatuated with her and told her: Ask a boon, come on come on ask something from us.

She said: Give my husband’s life back, you dickheads

Gods were like, sure.

Manasa however protested 14368822_1163342667069624_3707174855812067958_n

Gods were in trouble, on the 1 hand they had given their words, on the other hand, though immortal, no one wants to get bitten by snakes.

So, being Indian gods, they formed a committee to look into the matter.

After copious quantities of ambrosia was consumed and heated discussions – apparently there was no accord between the Conservative party led by Brahma and the Neo Liberals led by Ganesha – they finally decided to approach the trader.

They went to Chand and tried to persuade him to worship Manasa.

He said 11182299_993786990641260_6037050776876835991_n

The committee was in trouble. Finding no other options, they approached Lord Shiva and appraised him of the matter.

Shiva was like chill dudes, I will tell him.

He sent a message to Chand – Hey man its all cool, u can worship Manasa, I don’t mind. Incidentally, I have heard that they are growing some seriously cool shit over at that place next to that thing which comes after that stuff, you know what I mean. Next time you do the ritual thingies, throw some of that shit in the fire will you. C U L8R

Chand agreed to do pooja; Manasa was happy; Gods were relived; Behula got her husband back.

All’s well that ends well. lalu-prasad-yadav-memes-1


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