Robbery

I am talking about actual thieves and their motivations.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that in most cases, for the poor lads, it is the lack of any other skills or opportunity and a bleak future, that take them to the path of thievery. The theory doesn’t apply to politicians because they are amoral soulless parasites of the lowest order.

But what about motivation? I can understand stealing food, money, jewelry, valuable objects or instruments with resell value etc.

But just what motivates a person to steal my used toothbrush?? Why??? Just why????

I know its not in the same league as stealing, say Ratnadev Chanda’s used, torn, dirty underwear; but then again, there is no rational, logical, sentient reason for that anyway. Only a highly highly mightily disturbed individual (or an Arsenal defender) can ever even dream about such an act, never mind doing it.

But to come back to the point, just what use is an used toothbrush to anybody? Why steal it?

But after intensive cogitations, in-depth ruminations and encyclopedic pondering, I have figured out the reason why.

By now you must be aware of the awful machinations and skullduggeries of that cabal of highly powerful secret societies like The Freemasons, The Illuminati, The Order of Skull and Bones, The Brotherhood of Mutants, The Rosicrucians, The Order of the Temples of the East, The Hermetic Order of The Golden Dawn, The Bilderburg Group, The Priory of Sion, The Cultural Studies Hypocrites of EFLU, The Opus Dei, SPECTRE, and The Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night.

What do you think is the thread that binds all of them? What do you think is the common plan of action? what is it that brought all of them together?

That’s right.

They all want the complete and utter annihilation, decimation, extermination, liquidation, obliteration and hecatomb of me, Fat Uncle Cheapo.

But, having failed in all of their endeavors so far, they have now devised on the master-plan of creating my clone.

They figure that if they can get the clone and me together in one place at the same time, the resulting awesomeness will destroy everything, including us, within a 420 kilometer radius.

Hence, to get access to my DNA, they stole my toothbrush.

There cannot be any other explanation.

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