Purgatory thy name is Nagpur

….also known as Orange City (not because of oranges but because of the blazing fooking sun as far as Cheapo is concerned)

Cheapo has been in lots of cities and thus can safely claim that Nagpur is the most depressing city ever.

Why he went there you ask? Well it was to attend an erstwhile friend’s wedding. He went there after finishing his sojourn at Panchmarhi.

It was just a journey of 8 hours in a rickety bus in 45 degree temperature…..with Muppety women suffering from motion sickness and puking every 5 minutes….highly enjoyable isn’t it?

So Cheapo reached Nagpur. What was in store at Nagpur you ask. Its hot, its boring, its hot, its depressing, its hot. Its also a city without hot girls……..its full of aunties and grandmas!!!!! Something which was clearly evident in the friend’s wedding.

Not that Cheapo was really looking forward to seeing hot girls….he was once again worried about…well what else….his pants.

See, the whole problem was that he had forgotten to bring his belt. So, he could not wear his formal trouser. He had in fact tried on the trouser in his hotel room, but it fell-off.

He had to wear shorts. But he had promised the friend that he will attend in formals, and Cheapo is a man of his word. He decided to wear full-sleeve formal shirt and tie along with his shorts and go to the wedding.

And what a wedding!!

The poor dude getting married was standing on one corner with a hangdog forlorn expression since nobody was paying him any attention whilst a whole legion of aunties and grandmas were gossiping and staring at Cheapo.

Cheapo is used to that.

The food was veg and hot, and even the fucking dessert was hot, served fresh off the fucking fire.

The worst part was that Cheapo wasn’t even allowed to bang the couple’s heads (apparently an uber-cool Marathi custom).

Cheapo desperately wanted to do it but apparently only old people can do it…so Cheapo told the couple that he is physically (courtesy his broken body) he is around 70 and mentally around 117…ergo he is older than them.

But the friend insisted that on paper, her new husband is older than Cheapo, to which Cheapo asked her why she was marrying old people and called her husband a cradle snatcher…..at which point people came and dragged Cheapo away.

The bride’s mother turned up and gave him 1000 bucks to make him go away.

Just another day in the life of Cheapo where people tell him to bugger off.

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