My Dog’s a Nudist

Mitron, some of you may already know that Cheapo has adopted a couple of motherless young pups – the mother was run over. These are/were just street dogs. And yes, Cheapo does not give a single fuck about breed or pedigree or gender for that matter. Nor for that matter does he give a single fuck about dog pee, dog poo, dog vomit, scratches or bits.

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On the left – A Waste of Oxygen and a Disgrace to Humanity

In his – or rather its (he doesn’t deserve to be called human) hands, Lady Imbitchimenta aka Idiot

On the right – Fluffy McDildoface aka Gudduda the Monotesticular Imbecile

In his hands – Marquis de Barkenzola aka Stupid

Yep, you got it right, together the puppies make up Stupid Idiot.

BTW, Stupid’s first act/interaction was to puke and shit all over the Gudduda. Oh what fun. The poor darlings were scared shitless – well metaphorically in case of Idiot and literally in case of Stupid.

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But here’s the thing – humans (especially female humans) hate Cheapo, they feel that Cheapo is a disturbing, repulsive waste of space; animals however love Cheapo. So it was just a matter of time before they got all comfy in their box.

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It was also a matter of time before they destroyed the fuck out of that box.

So, they got a new bed, and soon they were having the time of their lives. – only broken by baths and collars.

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Now, the problem is that the winsome twosome do not understand either Bengali or English or Hindi.

So what do they understand?

Minionese

The disgrace to humanity cum human ebola and the doggies have long intellectual conversations (who else am I gonna talk to, its not like I have human “friends”, they all get insulted, humiliated, embarrassed and disturbed talking to me, so silence is golden when it comes to humans)

Anywhoo

Since its winter, my mother made dresses for them from old tshirts. As you can see here.

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The stupid idiots should have been happy right? After all the dresses were for their benefit, to keep them warm.

But, behold the Human Dementor’s surprise when he found out that his dogs are nudists.

They had, during the course of the night, taken off their dresses and then in order to prevent said clothes to be put on them again, peed all over them.

That’s right folks, like hardcore nudists everywhere, the doggies have shown disgust and disdain for dresses.

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Its kinda fitting really.

The doggies show disdain towards clothes.

Gudduda the Imbecile shows disdain towards standard social conventions (he wears lipsticks and loves peeing in his pants)

And his so called friends show epic disdain towards Fat Uncle Cheapo for daring to hope and dream. Expect to see a petition any day on Change or Awaaz about disqualifying Cheapo from the World.

How fucking dare he dream? Doesn’t he realize that his existence is distressing and disturbing for his ‘friends’? Doesn’t he realize that his presence is humiliating for his ‘friends’?

Don’t worry my friends. Cheapo reassures you that its only a matter of time and sooner rather than later, Cheapo will go away forever, so you can relax and be happy.

Sigh

At least the dogs love him.

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