As you know by now, Cheapo is more or less the United Nations of Diseases.
And ever since he gave up medicines last month – life is not worth living anymore blah blah – things have taken a surreal turn.
Every time he gets up from a chair or sofa or bed, his read starts rolling like a whirling dervish on a roller-coaster during an earthquake.
And when he sits, his back hurts.
And when he lies down, he gets the shakes. He feels there is an earthquake going on and the whole room is shaking. His body spasms like a performer of the St Vitus Dance.
And finally, when he stands, his leg is in immense pain, and if he tries to walk, he limps like Igor.
Now, Cheapo is more or less resigned to a lifetime – a short lifetime – but a lifetime of pain and suffering; what else does he have to look forward to anyway.
Hell, he is even considering a betting pool about which part/organ is going to go wonky next (smart money is on kidneys).
All that is fine. C’est la vie and all that.
Its the weird unexpected surprises that floor Cheapo.
For example, why the fuck is blood coming out of the nose??? Yes the lungs are in as deep a shit as Swansea or Villa. And yes, breathing has become increasingly difficult.
But what the hell has got to do with blood.
Its mysterious, its inexplicable, its annoying.
And you know what happens when organs/parts go all mysterious inexplicable and annoying?
Huh, you know what happens?
Nose, you stupid idiot, you are on the list.