I think we can all safely agree that the Academy Awards or Oscars as they are popularly known as have lost all credibility – same as the Nobel Peace Prize.
Of course its not recently that they have made a dog’s bollocks of things.
That started way back in the 1970s.
Don’t believe me?
- Annie Hall over Star Wars
- Kramer vs Kramer over Apocalypse Now
- Ordinary People over Raging Bull
- Chariots of Fire over Raiders of the Lost Arc
- Driving Miss Daisy over anybody
- Dances with Wolves over Goodfellas
- English Patient over Fargo
- Titanic over Good Will Hunting
- Shakespeare in Love over Saving Private Ryan and Thin Red Line and Life is Beautiful
- A Beautiful Mind over LOTR Fellowship
- Chicago over anybody
- Slumdog over anybody
- Hurt Locker over UP
- Birdman over Selma
- Spotlight last year
You see the trend?
Want an Oscar?
Make a romantic musical or make a movie about how white man helps black man – bingo.
Also, by now, it seems if Meryl Streep acts in a movie, she has to get nominated, no matter how ordinary the performance. As if its a rule!
Another weird rule – a comedy or an action movie? When presented with such movies, the Academy’s collective reaction is on par with the reaction of women worldwide when they see Fat Uncle Cheapo –
As I said, no credibility whatsoever. The Academy has become a group of ancient demented fuddy duddies wanking about the glory days of 1920s and 1930s.
The Screen Actors Guild Awards, the Critics Choice Awards and the People’s Choice Awards are all more relevant nowadays.
Factor in all those Oscars so White and Anti Female and Whitewashing or the booby song controversies and you know that Oscars nowadays is more negative than positive.
So, it is beyond redemption? Is it lost forever?
Nothing is irredeemable my dear friends – well nothing except Fat Uncle Cheapo, that fucker is doomed.
Salvation can be achieved.
There is only one way though – Deadpool for the Oscars.
Let’s face it, not only was it the most popular movie of the year, it was also the best, easily.
Just look at some of the other crap that is doing the award circuit – we have LA LA Land, a namby pamby musical ($135.1 million), Florence Foster Jenkins, a namby pamby musical ($44.3 million), Sing Street (13.6 million), Lion, a movie about poverty, slums and India ($19.6 million), 20th Century Women ($890,085), Moonlight ($15.1 million) and Manchester by the Sea, a tearjerker ($38.4 million).
Apart from some artsy fartsy hipsters and people like Fluffy McDildoface aka Gudduda the Imbecile, nobody watched these movies.
And then there is Deadpool – Budget $58 million, Box office $783.1 million
A film that makes about 4 or 5 times its budget is considered a super hit.
Deadpool made more than a dozen times its budget.
The people – they loved Deadpool
The critics – they loved Deadpool
So all logic indicates that it should win.
Now, its up to all those Academic antiquarians. You want people to take you seriously? You want to be relevant again? You want to regain your honor?
You know what to do.