Atomized, brutalized, cauterized, pulverized, victimized
These are pretty apt adjectives for Cheapo’s body. It is, after all, the 10th wonder of the world. Doctors from far and wide travel long distances to come and gawk at this marvel of misery.
There are even rumors going around that Cheapo will get the Nobel Prize in Medicine for his contributions to the medical industry. After all medicinal science has had to progress in leaps and bounds to keep up with the colossal conundrums that Cheapo’s body keeps coming up with.
After all this is the body with a heart that got heartwashed into following that 0 size fad and started shrinking.
This is the body with lungs that are hardcore members of the Communist party and have pretty much gone on strike for the last decade or so.
This is the body with a spine that got influenced by Nicholas Anelka and Lonely Planet and decided to roam around.
This is the body where one eye decided to go the Gandhari route to empathize and support the other eye.
This is the body where a knee has decided to become a sound artist.
This is the body where the penis is a minimalist.
So, its no wonder that Cheapo’s ankle decided to get in on the act.
It was autumn last year, rain was in the air, mosquitoes were boinking like crazy, Cheapo was being straightjacketed in the psych ward – to prevent him from ending things – when something happened to his ankle/heel.
There was pain, but since pain is Cheapo’s constant companion, it was ok. But it kept on increasing and so Cheapo was taken to a doctor, and then there was mucho treatment. 3 months of continuous treatment – legions of pills, ultrasound, physiotherapy, ayurveda, Japanese plasters, orthopedic plasters, wraps and walking aids…..effect – sum total of sweet FA and diddly squat.
The mystery deepened.
In the meantime, Cheapo suffered a great, possibly the greatest of his life, loss; he lost someone who is his precious, his soulmate, his reason to live.
Depressed, dismayed, demoralized, Cheapo resigned. He stopped all treatment and went into a shell.
The pain remained. In fact, it increased.
So one fine evening last month, some bourgeois patricians abducted Cheapo, strapped him up and took him to a hospital. Plebeian proletariat Cheapo’s demands of ‘Unhand me legate, I demand you release me at once’ were roundly ignored.
They poked Cheapo, they prodded Cheapo, they did heinous experiments on Cheapo.
But Cheapo had the last laugh.
All that prodding and poking and experiments gave a result that completely baffled and bamboozled the medical profession.
It seems that a bone in Cheapo’s ankle/heel has disappeared. That’s right people, one fine day, the bone woke up, looked around and decided bugger this for a game of soldiers and just went away.
The words you are looking for – What? Why? How?