Guess who’s Back, Back Again

Huh, it seems that this month is all about returns (but thankfully not of any natives…fucking Thomas Hardy, the stupid idiot).

Its not stock market returns, but rather returns in the fields of technology, science, sports and life.

Nokia 3310

The return that gladdened them all – the world’s all time greatest mobile phone is back (in a slightly different avatar). If it’s even 75% as good as the original, then its entry into the pantheon is guaranteed.

http://mashable.com/2017/02/14/nokia-3310-coming-back-report/#8F8L7HYJcmq2
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/feb/26/nokia-3310-is-back-and-it-even-has-snake

Woolly Mammoth

As usual the scientific boffins have been going around tinkering with the ‘how’ instead of ‘should we’. They have declared that they are going to bring back the woolly mammoth.

Yes its true that mankind was partially if not wholly responsible for their extinction. But their descendants, the modern day pachyderms are already here. And their numbers are decreasing at an alarming rate courtesy – mankind.

So it makes perfect sense for mankind to do all it can to save this gorgeous species. Science should have looked into preservation, sustainability, afforestation leading to a safe and secure habitat for these magnificent animals.

But sense and science don’t go together.

Wolverine

Logan is back.

Fluffy McDildoface aka Gudduda the Monotesticular Imbecile in Devdas Mode

Let’s face it, this was just a matter of time. Fluffy falls in love/lust once every 4 months, tries wooing for a month, messes up spectacularly leading to the person cutting off all ties with him leading to 2 months of Devdas mode.

This month he again fell in love/lust with a girl who promptly snubbed him for being fat.  Que crying, beating of chest, pulling of hair, and pissing in pants.

Fat Uncle Cheapo’s Medicinal Extravaganza

Aha, the news that you have all been waiting for.

Cheapo knows that most, if not all, of you were very disappointed to learn about Cheapo’s decreasing consumption of medicines. You were panicking about oh no, will this jabronee survive? Will we have to suffer his existence longer?

At one point of time recently, his intake went into single figures! Oh the humanity!

But rejoice good people, due to some recent events in his life, Cheapo is back.

Its 17 different medicines daily plus 2 types of physiotherapy – and all that without taking the pain killers into account.

So rest assured, my dear dear friends, Cheapo is still doomed. Moreover, as a backup, in case his body doesn’t cooperate with him and keeps on going, Cheapo has a plan for ending his existence.

That is the Gift of Cheapo.

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