Jesus can Jonathan can’t

The Bible tells us that Jesus could walk on water.

Well, so can Fluffy McDildoface aka Gudduda the Monotesticular Pantpissing Imbecile if the walking is being done on the Dead Sea. Probably.

You are welcome to try it.

Just don’t do what Jonathan did.

Jonathan Mthethwa was a pastor of the Saint of the Last Days Church. He wanted to show his congregation how Jesus walked on water. Unfortunately, he chose a river crossing that is locally known as Crocodile River for his demonstration.

Suffice to say, he did not make it across the river. All that was left of him was his underwear and his sandals.

Eyewitness Deacon Nkosi said: ‘The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week. They finished him in a couple of minutes’.

What’s not to understand here?

  1. Crocodiles don’t give a single fuck
  2. Jonathan Mthethwa was a stupid idiot
  3. Human imbecility is infinite



One thought on “Jesus can Jonathan can’t

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