Champions of England

Well, here  we go again.

After last season’s epic clusterfuck, we are champions again. Que Queen’s song.

And once again we need to thank Arsene Wenger for our victories. After all, some things in life are just not tolerable, just too reprehensible, things that make you question the very essence of human existence – the Mongol Horde, spiders,  Kejriwal, smallpox, and losing to Arsenal.

Things changed, people changed and behold – Champions.

So, who are these people who made it happen?

Here’s they are with Cheapo’s rating for each of them, starting with our manager and backroom stuff.

Antonio Conte – 9/10

Steve Holland – 9/10

Angelo Alessio – 9/10

The Medical Team: Paolo Bertelli, Julio Tous, Chris Jones, Constantino Coratti, Tiberio Ancora – 10/10

Billy McCulloch – 10/10

Now to the players

  • Asmir Begovic – 6/10 …good, not great
  • Thibault Courtois – 7.5/10 …he really neds to start coming out of his line for corners and also organize the defence better
  • Marcus Alonso – 7/10….needs to improve defensive side
  • Gary Cahill – 6.5/10…..he last made a tackle somewhere in the last decade
  • Captain,Leader, Legend – 5.5/10 …..speed gone,
  • Kurt Zouma – 7/10 …..huge potential
  • Nathan Ake – 8/10 …..solid, best of the young
  • David Luiz – 9/10 …. as long as he does not go near the half-line
  • Cesar Azpilicueta – 11/10 ….nuff said
  • Ola Aina – 6/10 …..young, needs to improve
  • Cesc Fabregas – 7/10 ….can’t tackle for shit
  • NGolo Kante – 10/10

  • Eden Hazard – 9.5/10 …..can do better
  • Pedro – 7/10 ….needs to pass earlier
  • Victor Moses – 7.5/10 …..needs to cross better
  • Nemanja Matic – 7/10 ….no right foot, a bit slow
  • Willian – 8/10 …..slows down play sometimes
  • Reuben Loftus Cheek – 5/10 …great potential, but aggravating
  • Nathaniel Chalobah – 7/10…..2nd best of the kids
  • Kennedy – 6/10 .,…shit haircut
  • Diego Costa – 7/10 ….bad first touch, loses ball a lot
  • Michy Batshuayi – 6/10 … for the future
  • Dominic Solanke – one for the future

This was the perfect sendoff to our Captain and Steve Holland, a man behind so much of our success.


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