This is it people – post no 100.
For only the third time in my life I have reached a century (after my weight and my diastolic blood pressure).
And to celebrate the century, I will write about naturism.
Now as you may recall, a few posts ago, I preached about saving the world by being a nudist.
That’s all well and good.
How is the question that the people asked me.
So here’s an in depth study of how.
But first let’s make it easy for you guys by making a classification.
1. People who are born in nudist families and ergo are nudists by birth
2. People who become nudists in real life
1 are already settled so the focus is on group 2.
Now even in group 2 there are two types of people
A. Exhibitionists, that is, people who get sexual pleasure from exposing themselves
B. People who do not get any sexual pleasure from exposing themselves, but who simply dislike and do not wear clothes
2A is not under my purview and anyway pure nudism or more importantly naturism has nothing to do with sex.
So its the 2B people.
2B or not 2B eh?
But wait, there’s more
Even in 2B, there are 2 types of people, based on the way they start
2Bi are the people who one day just take the plunge so to speak, they start by going to a nudist beach or a nudist resort
And then there are the 2Bii people for whom going to the nudist beach or resort or simply put public nudity is the last step
This guide is for these people
The people who want, the people who are curious, but are afraid because of societal pressure, conservatism, shyness and all such things.
Now, what you have to understand is that being a nudist DOES NOT mean that you have to compulsorily be naked in front of other people. Some might claim that is the case, but that’s most definitely not true.
There is no hard and fast rule to nudism. Nudists are, by definition, extremely liberal supportive and happy people who dislike rules and rigid social conventions.
The very essence, the one rule of nudism is that you have got to be comfortable.
That’s it – comfort is the key.
So if you are not comfortable being naked in public gatherings, then simply don’t.
That is the ultimate last step.
If you allow me to take the metaphor of Buddhism, then I will say that participation in public nudist gatherings is like attaining moksha, becoming Buddha – and just because you do not become Buddha (how many can) does not mean you cannot be a good Buddhist and follow the paths of Buddhism.
DISCLAIMER – Its just a METAPHOR, am not disrespecting or associating Buddhism with nudism.
So, what’s the path to nudism.
Well, just like all days begin in the bathroom, so does nudism.
We bathe naked, but that’s just about it. The moment our bath is over, we hurry to put on clothes.
Just ask yourself, why?
You are alone in a locked room, noone can see you and yet you are in a hurry to put on clothes.
Where is the sense.
Be naked the whole time – when you brush your teeth, shave, put on make up, or do haircare.
That’s it – that’s Step 1. Be naked in the bathroom.
That’s not difficult is it?
Step 2 is also pretty simple – Be naked in your bed
Look, you are either sleeping alone in your room or you are sleeping with a loved and trusted person. So why bother with ‘nightsuits’?
You wear a set of clothes all throughout the day and before going to sleep, you change into another set – just for sleeping.
Think about it people – you are wearing clothes just to sleep. How stupid is that?
Some might say what about cold? Well, nowadays in places that get really cold, there are all manners of electrical devices that control the temperature.
And even if you don’t, there is a simple old school way – get an extra blanket/quilt.
Now of course, it does not mean that you have always got to be naked when sleeping. If you are feeling cold, or are sick or are in someone else’s house or are sleeping in a dorm with other people, then of course, wear clothes.
But in your own bed?
When you are either alone or with your loved one?
Be naked people.
So now you are naked in the bathroom and in the bedroom. What can you do next?
Well, Step 3a involves another simple step – Walking naked
I mean walking inside the house of course. There are umpteen activities that you do in the comfort of your own home.
Picture this – its a Sunday/holiday – you get up from your bed in the morning, you do all the bathroom business, then you get a cup of coffee and some breakfast and then you promptly start reading a book, surfing the net, watching television or just texting/talking to someone on the phone.
We all, every single one of us, do something like that. Its a comfort cocoon of our lives.
So the next time, you get up from your bed and walk to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, do so naked.
Think about it – you are either alone in your house/apartment or you are there with your loved one/a trusted one.
So why bother wearing clothes just to get out of the bed and to go to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee?
You don’t need to – its a complete waste of time.
Talking of which..
Step 3b – Watch tv/Surf naked
You are walking naked to the kitchen or bathroom from your bed anyway. Now spend 5 minutes on the couch watching the news naked. What’s the worst that can happen? How hard can it be?
Exactly, its not hard at all.
In fact, its quite comforting isn’t it.
So tell me, these 4 steps, are they hard? Are they impossible? Will doing these herald The Armageddon or The Asutosh?
The answer is no right?
So, become a Nike supporter and just do it and then go to
Step 4 – Cook/Clean Naked
Well, you are already naked in the bedroom, bathroom and drawing room. Why do you need to dress to work in the kitchen or when you are doing household chores where you are going to get sweaty anyway?
There is a caveat here though – please wear aprons and those big ass kitchen gloves (mitts?) and most importantly hair nets while cooking. There is absolutely no need for burn accidents or hair in the food.
Now you are naked in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and drawing room, you do everything in the house naked.
So what’s the next step.
Step 5 – Eat Chocolates
Yep, that’s tight, the next step to nudism is eating chocolates because once you have done those 4 steps – that’s it. Voila, you are a nudist.
Its that simple.
Yes, you are a home nudist, but so what?
As I said, there is no rule that says you have to be a public nudist.
If you like to try it and have the courage, then you can
- Contact and talk to other nudists
- Meet other nudists (the first few times wearing clothes and then only if your comfortable naked)
- Go to a nudist beach or resort
These last three are completely optional, you do not have to do any of them. In fact there are more home nudists in the world than there are public nudists.
And that’s absolutely fine.
Its all about being comfortable in your own body, your own skin, in your own birthday suit.
Look, you survived cholera and malaria, typhoid and jaundice, polio and whooping cough, pox and measles, you survived toochache and ebola and Communism; you survived wars and Y2K; you survived volcanic eruptions and tsunamis and earthquakes and floods; you survived shattered dreams and broken bones
You survived all that and thus you are incredibly strong
And you are afraid and ashamed of your own body after surviving all that?
Nudism and death are the only two equalisers people. (and Deadpool of course – he will kick your arse, doesn’t matter who you are).
Once you peel away the clothes, you will realise that we are all the same, exactly the same. Its our souls and our minds that make us who we are, not our bodies.
Sure, you will be thin/fat, short/tall, fair/dark; you will have six packs or beer bellies, you will have thin arse or fat arse, long legs or short legs, big boobs or small boobs, big dongs or tiny dongs – it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter because its all the same.
Embrace your body, be proud of it.
Always remember that we are all beautiful, every single one of us. [ok, fine, fine, I admit that I resemble Quasimodo’s uglier brother, but still]
So be happy, be comfortable, be naked.
p.s. If you want to read more, this guy has written a much better article on nudism